The Saddle.

I'm back in it.
The saddle, that is.

It feels really good, I went almost two whole weeks without seeing Lloyd, usually I don't go more than two waking hours.

We chose a couple matchups to start writing, lined up two very special guests returning, found some great beats to start writing with.
Now we just crank, and keep cranking until the 6th rap battle is uploaded.

It's a strange process for me, because it just never stops.
Not in a bad way, not in a good way, it's just how it is.
There is always something to do, up to the last second before we upload a video.

Even after we upload it there is always some spelling error in the description, or link not working, or some thumbnail image that is too dark.
Always something to improve.

I used to be terrified of all the work, it felt so hard to keep making things good enough.
So I started reading more books about people who actually had to work hard.
The kind of working hard where your life depended on it, or someone else's life depended on it.

Right now I'm reading a thick book about the Allied invasion of Italy, WWII style.

It goes into really great detail about the individual people involved, from Winston Churchill, to Eisenhower, to General Patton, to some Colonel, to a captain, to a private on the front line, down to an old Italian woman looking for scraps of bread while she ducks from artillery shells.

It sounds depressing, and I guess sometimes its pretty dark, but I keep reading things like this because it puts my life and my challenges in perspective.

It reminds me what people are actually capable of when they try their absolute hardest.   
Italy was defended by hundreds of thousands of soldiers with their guns pointed forward, and hundreds of thousands of other soldiers pretty much ran straight at them.

They watched people fall around them, and they just kept going.  The men giving orders knew they were sending other men to die, and they would have to live with those decisions for the rest of their lives, but they kept making them anyway, as part of a larger objective to end a war that had taken over most of the world.

It makes my late nights editing rapping Ghostbusters seem not so hard after all.